My Child's Character: Which Traits Should I Encourage?

Every parent dreams of seeing their children develop character traits that let them face today's world while asserting human and universal values, in all circumstances. Three traits structure this article — courage, generosity, and spirituality — each one cultivable over time, through the example set by parents.

Character and personality: a small but important distinction

Character is defined in the Larousse dictionary as follows:

The set of stable emotional dispositions through which a person reacts to their environment and which make up their personality Larousse Dictionary

Not to be confused, then, with personality, which is:

The psychological individuality of a person as it shows itself in their behavior Larousse Dictionary

Character through courage

Courage doesn't mean not being afraid (otherwise it would be recklessness). Courage means being afraid and deciding to act — to act well — despite everything. Will your child have the courage to admit a mistake they made? Will they be outraged by an unjust situation? Will they dare to assert different choices (listening to classical music when other children their age prefer Hip Hop or R&B)? Will your child be able to defend themselves in the street? Children need to be able to count on you to develop their courage. If they're afraid of the dark, of wolves, or of thunderstorms, don't mock them, don't tease them. Reassure them. Tell them they have nothing to fear and that they're safe. Help them overcome obstacles. Courage develops and is cultivated by facing frightening situations and gradually overcoming difficulties. We are our children's first source of inspiration. Their first school. If we want to see them develop their courage, we need to do the same with our own.

The true greatness of a man is not measured in moments when he is at ease, but when he goes through a period of controversy and challenges Martin Luther King Jr.

Be patient with your child and remember that courage also comes with time, as maturity grows.

Character through generosity

We'd all like our children to be generous. Generosity starts with a feeling of security and abundance. It grows as a simple realization sets in: sharing with others makes them happier. The best way to teach generosity to your child is to lead by example. Then let them experiment with different actions that might bring joy to others. It always starts with parents and siblings. When your child gives you a gift, express your joy, your pride in receiving it. Avoid forcing them to share anything if they're not ready to do so. Teach them to reflect on their role in the world: what would they like to change, how can we make our planet a better place to live? However, don't just give money — volunteer too. That way, you'll teach them that generosity means giving both money and time. Show them that your efforts have a positive impact on other people's lives.

Character through spirituality

The spiritual dimension is a significant component of human life, and it is learned day by day. So it's entirely natural to hope that your child will revere life, respect nature, and contribute to joy… This section is developed in a separate article, where we explain how to contribute to a child's spiritual development through a number of points such as: trust, love of nature, valuing difficulties, gratitude, and so on.