What are the habits that make for daily happiness? Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky, of the University of California, is conducting a fascinating study on this very question. She sets out in detail what the people who describe themselves as happy have in common.
These people share specific habits that we can all adopt. Let us discover together how to turn these scientific findings into concrete actions, in order to build lasting habits of happiness.
Discovering the habits for happiness, according to science
Adopting the happiness habits of fulfilled people
According to Lyubomirsky's study, happy people:
Nurture their close relationships. They devote a great deal of time to their families and friends.
Practise gratitude naturally. They find it very easy to express their appreciation for everything they have.
Develop their altruism. They are the first to step forward to help loved ones, colleagues or even strangers. They show empathy towards others.
Nourish their optimism. They keep a positive outlook on their future.
Savour the present moment. They stay anchored in the here and now and appreciate life's simple pleasures.
Move regularly. They take physical exercise, daily or weekly. What matters is the regularity of the habit.
Live by their values. They set themselves long-term goals aligned with their deepest principles.
Withstand hardship. In difficult moments, they suffer like everyone else. Their secret? Keeping their balance and showing the determination to overcome obstacles.
How to weave these happiness habits into daily life
Knowing these traits is not enough to build lasting habits of happiness. Our aim goes beyond acquiring general knowledge. We want a concrete method for cultivating the habits that make for happiness every day.
These days, personal-development literature overflows with ideas. Yet we rarely put them into practice. Writing a list is easy. Embedding these ideas into our daily lives takes far more effort.
So let us get to work!
Frequency beats intensity when it comes to creating happiness
The fundamental principle of daily happiness
Jennifer Aaker, of Stanford University, puts it simply: "See what makes you feel good? What makes you happy? Do it more often!"
It is better to live many small joys than a few great, occasional events.
We organise our working time. We make doctor's appointments. We book the beautician. Yet we rarely fit happiness into our schedules.
The 40% that changes everything
Studies reveal that 40% of happiness comes from the activities we choose of our own accord. So adding something you love to your daily programme increases your happiness by 40%.
Other research carried out at Duke University in 2006 reveals a surprising truth. 40% of our daily actions stem not from conscious decisions but from automatic habits.
What stops us from bringing joyful activities into our routine? Including these activities in the 40% of tasks we carry out automatically raises our happiness by 40%!
So let us turn Lyubomirsky's list into habitual actions.
1. Wake up and think ASR
The morning ritual that transforms your day
Your mood on waking determines the quality of your day. ASR is a powerful acronym, from the French Anticipation, Souvenirs, Reconnaissance: anticipation, happy memories and gratitude.
Anticipation: your morning boost
Think of something that makes you happy and savour that joy in advance. If nothing awaits you, plan something pleasant. Decide: "Today, I will..."
Memories: your defence against stress
Recalling pleasant moments instantly lifts our mood. Memories let us relive precious moments and better withstand stress.
According to The How of Happiness, people who practise joyful anticipation feel pleasure at the very thought of the awaited event. They picture future events easily and project themselves positively.
Those who relive the happy moments of the past develop a greater resistance to stress.
Gratitude: the queen of happiness
Gratitude is probably the most powerful emotion for creating happiness. The more a person feels gratitude, the less they experience anxiety, depression, envy or loneliness.
Practical application: Before getting out of bed, take 5 minutes to think ASR. This small ritual lets you start the day on the right foot.
2. Savour your morning drink
The art of savouring small pleasures
Tea or coffee, whatever your preference. What matters is the ritual that goes with it.
Smell your drink. Really taste it. Take the time to appreciate it fully. This experience, however minor, develops your ability to savour every sensory experience of your day.
3. Follow the path of joy
The three universal pillars of happiness
When we observe happy people, three activities come up again and again: socialising, sex and physical exercise.
Other sources of joy vary from person to person. Some find happiness when their mind wanders in daydreams. Others prefer to live the present moment intensely.
Physical exercise: a natural antidepressant
People who move regularly enjoy better mental health. They are less prone to depression, less irritable, less stressed and more confident.
Practical application: Weave physical exercise into your routine. The more you do, the better you feel mentally.
4. Do a good turn in 5 minutes flat
The altruism that lengthens life
Contrary to a common belief, it is not the people who are loved and surrounded who live longest. It is those who are altruistic and helpful.
Adam Rifkin suggests a simple method: do one generous act each day in under 5 minutes.
Simple gestures with enormous impact
These small actions cost you nothing in time or effort. They take the form of:
- An introduction between two people
- Sharing a useful reference
- Constructive feedback
- Passing on a piece of content on social media
It is insignificant for you, but precious for the person helped. And it is excellent for your karma: you reap what you sow.
5. Turn your work into a game
Goals: the fuel of happiness
The people who set themselves goals are the happiest. The psychologist Jonathan Freedman confirms it: those who know how to set themselves short- and long-term aims flourish more.
The neuroscientific studies of Richard Davidson, at the University of Wisconsin, reveal a fascinating truth. People who work hard to reach a goal become more positive as they approach it. This progress also reduces negative emotions such as depression and fear.
Why working makes us happier
Many of us find our work boring. Yet people who work are happier than those who remain idle.
The reason? Challenges stimulate us naturally.
How to flourish professionally
Draw on your strengths. Try to do the things you excel at. That is how you flourish most.
Track your progress. Nothing is more motivating than seeing how far you have come and recording your advances.
Savour every victory. Celebrate each goal you reach, then set yourself new challenges.
6. Schedule your social moments
The magic equation of relationships
70% of your happiness comes from your interactions with others. You find time for your obligations; find some for your social life too.
The golden number: 10 friends
According to the complex studies of Chayoon Lin and Robert Putnam, the ideal number of friends is 10. Form a group of 10 people to develop a strong sense of belonging.
Practical application: Invite your loved ones to lunch or dinner. Give them small gifts. The money you spend to please someone dear contributes to your own happiness.
Stay reasonable, though: generosity reflects a nobility of character, whereas extravagance is more a sign of carelessness.
7. Give your life meaning
Happiness versus meaning: two different concepts
Leading a happy life and leading a meaningful one are not the same thing. It becomes hard to be happy when problems and tragedies pile up.
The transformative power of hardship
And yet the people who live best are not those who have been happiest. They are those who give meaning to each of their struggles.
Nietzsche put it perfectly: "What does not kill you makes you stronger."
The people whom life tests, and who withstand the test, end up faring better than those who live in sheltered environments.
A summary of the 7 habits for building your happiness
To become happier in life, install these daily habits:
| Habit | Concrete application |
|---|---|
| 1. Wake up and think ASR | Anticipation, memories, gratitude: 5 minutes before getting out of bed. |
| 2. Savour your morning drink | Smell, taste and fully appreciate your tea or coffee. |
| 3. Follow the path of joy | Prioritise socialising, sex and physical exercise. |
| 4. Do a good turn in 5 minutes flat | An introduction, a useful share or constructive feedback, every day. |
| 5. Turn your work into a game | Draw on your strengths, track your progress, savour every win. |
| 6. Schedule your social moments | Set aside time for a circle of about ten close friends, like an appointment. |
| 7. Give your life meaning | Turn every ordeal into strength rather than an obstacle. |
These seven scientifically proven habits will let you build your happiness day by day. What matters is not perfection, but regularity in applying them.
