Happiness has always fascinated philosophers, intellectuals, thinkers, scientists and researchers. Each has tried to explain it, to justify it, to understand it. Their unanimous conclusion? Happiness remains a deeply subjective and relative notion. Every person experiences and perceives it differently, according to their own circumstances. We each understand and imagine happiness in our own unique way. Cultivating this authentic happiness means accepting life as it comes, living fully in the present moment, and working, day after day, toward our own fulfilment.
When pleasure masks the quest for true happiness
Jules Barbey D'Aurevilly put it aptly: "Pleasure is the happiness of fools. Happiness is the pleasure of the wise." Yet our contemporary society imposes a uniform vision of happiness on us. It ties happiness directly to material success, turning its absence into personal failure.
This distorted view pulls happiness away from its inner dimension. Having is now prized over being. Society drums into us that we must own ever more to feel good. The instant pleasures our modern societies overvalue conceal the true search for authentic happiness.
Don Draper, in the series Mad Men, offered this cynical definition: "Happiness is the moment before you need more happiness."
The keys to happiness according to humanistic psychology
H. Jackson Brown drew an illuminating distinction: "Success is having what you desire. Happiness is loving what you have."
Abraham Maslow, the father of humanistic psychology, held that achieving happiness depends on our ability to accept life with its ups and downs. In his view, some people develop this capacity naturally thanks to two essential components:
First, the ability to solve concrete problems rather than ruminate while turned in on oneself. Second, the ability to escape social conditioning without blindly submitting to established norms.
For Maslow, authentic happiness emerges only when we reach a higher degree of self-realization.
Cultivating happiness in the present moment
Many theories hold that happiness becomes attainable the moment we focus on the present. This approach means not dwelling on future worries and leaving the past where it belongs.
This philosophy of life reveals a simple truth: happiness is born of a multitude of small daily actions. It can also reveal itself through what is known as a "cosmic participation" - the feeling we experience when we take part in something greater than ourselves.
Charles Dumercy summed up this idea perfectly: "Happiness is a mosaic made up of little pieces."
Working on yourself to reach happiness
Many thinkers agree on one point: happiness does not come on its own. To reach it, you have to work on yourself actively. Our perception of the world does not necessarily match its reality. This difference, sometimes this opposition, makes us unhappy.
To avoid this state, we should bring the world we perceive as close as possible to the one that truly exists, as Margaret Lee Runbeck put it.
"Happiness is not a destination, but a manner of traveling." — Margaret Lee Runbeck
Letting go of the past to cultivate happiness
Moments of low spirits often draw their source from unpleasant, painful memories. A breakup, the loss of something dear, the death of a loved one — the examples are endless, and we all give in to the same habit: recalling the time when things were different.
Although time allows wounds to heal, we do not always manage to shake off the sorrow we carry. These memories haunt and torment us until we make peace with ourselves.
If nothing can be done to change the outcome of an event, then perhaps it is time to let that event go, so it can take its rightful place. There is no point in dragging it back into the present, where it has no business being. When nothing can be done, we must forgive, forget and move on.
Managing anxiety about the future
The future, too, can become a source of anxiety. We fret over things and events that have not yet happened. We picture, in a negative light, a situation that does not yet exist.
It is normal for the future to be part of how we reflect on life. Still, it should not take up too much space in our present. We draw up schedules and settle on a certain organization to feel in control. Yet there is always a strong chance that our forecasts and reality will not match.
We rarely factor the element of surprise into our plans. Sometimes all our plans for the future are radically changed. So, yes to organization. No to obsession.
Balance, the key to serenity
Serenity is reached when we manage to balance our thoughts. We carry our past, prepare for our future and fully live our present. This holistic approach to happiness allows us to cultivate an authentic, lasting joy.
Authentic happiness is not found in the accumulation of possessions or fleeting pleasures. It lies in our ability to accept life as it comes, to live in the present moment and to fulfil ourselves completely. It is constant work on oneself, a philosophy of life that transforms our perception of the world and our relationship with existence.
