Personal success brings euphoria and pride, yet it often leaves an existential void behind. This frantic pursuit of individual achievement masks a deeper need: the need to give your existence authentic meaning. Here is why taking part in other people's stories reveals the true significance of your own path through life.
The illusion of success as an end in itself
Life offers extraordinary possibilities for personal achievement. You can climb Everest, build a thriving company, give a TED talk. Such successes bring intense euphoria: celebrations, congratulations, posts on social media. This social recognition feeds your ego and validates your efforts.
And yet, when the excitement fades, whether gradually or all at once, a nagging question arises: "Is that it? Is that really all there is?" That question reveals that personal achievements, however dazzling, do not entirely quench our existential thirst.
The academic path towards existential emptiness
The experience of a Stanford professor illustrates this dynamic perfectly. Winning a prestigious university post generates a mixture of elation and terror. The prospect of the tenure review, seven years later, creates intense pressure: success means a job for life, failure means dismissal.
The situation recalls the film "Glengarry Glen Ross", in which Alec Baldwin announces: "First prize: a Cadillac Eldorado. Second prize: a set of steak knives. Third prize: you're fired." Except that in universities there is no second prize. That pressure sharpens everything, pushing you towards excellence: quality research, publications, impeccable teaching.
After seven years of relentless effort, tenure finally arrives. Immense relief, palpable excitement. And yet the same question resurfaces: "Is that it?" Despite decades of study, tears and sacrifice, the long-awaited achievement does not deliver the fulfilment hoped for.
The three pillars of life's meaning, according to psychology
Psychologists identify three essential components of meaning in existence. First, coherence: the world has to seem logical and predictable. After winter comes spring, then summer. Daily routines create that reassuring coherence.
Second, purpose: a vision of what your life can and should become. This projection into the future guides your actions and clarifies your priorities each morning. Personal achievement excels here, offering precise goals and measurable milestones.
Third, significance: the sense of transcending your present self, of continuing to matter beyond this present moment. And it is precisely here that personal achievement reveals its limits. By definition it focuses on you, which makes that necessary transcendence difficult.
The Leonardo da Vinci paradox
A quotation attributed to Leonardo da Vinci sheds light on this problem. On his deathbed, the genius is said to have declared: "I have offended God and mankind, because my work did not reach the quality it should have had." This confession reveals that even the most glorious achievements can leave a sense of incompleteness.
The anecdote resonates deeply because it expresses a universal truth: you can grasp that even extraordinary accomplishments sometimes provoke that wrenching question: "Is it enough? Is that all I amount to?"
The mentor-student relationship: an authentic source of meaning
The most significant moments of an academic career often emerge from relationships with doctoral students. These partnerships stretch over five or six years, creating intense and profound bonds. The example of Miguel Unzueta illustrates this transformative dynamic perfectly.
Miguel, born in El Paso to a modest background, brilliant but short on cultural capital, arrived at Stanford before his future mentor. He struggled to settle in, not understanding the unspoken codes of this elite institution. The new professor's arrival changed everything: mutual recognition, shared interests, a collaboration taking shape.
Four years of intensive work followed: daily meetings, sessions of 10 to 12 hours. Despite his own professional anxieties, the mentor made his student's success his first concern. This reversal of priorities reveals something fundamental about the nature of true meaning.
Taking part in other people's stories: the key to meaning
Miguel went on to win a post at UCLA. He has been a professor there for more than fifteen years and has taken on major responsibilities. His mentor feels immense pride at having contributed, however modestly, to that remarkable trajectory. The experience reveals an essential truth about the meaning of life.
Relationships do indeed nourish existential meaning, but the discovery goes further: taking part in a story that is not your own generates profound significance. This selfless participation in other people's narratives transcends personal achievement and touches the very essence of human existence.
The limits of personal achievement
Personal achievement has undeniable advantages: it is easily quantifiable, it generates immediate happiness and it provides tangible satisfaction. You know precisely whether you got that job, bought that house, reached that salary. That clarity comforts and motivates.
And yet we sometimes confuse this pursuit with our deep need for meaning. The confusion is explained by how easily achievements can be measured and by their positive emotional impact. Personal achievement produces peaks of happiness, unlike the search for meaning, which can prove uncomfortable.
The difference between happiness and meaning
Studies reveal a crucial distinction: parents who devote more time to raising their children report more meaning in their lives, but not necessarily more happiness. This fundamental nuance sheds light on the complex nature of human fulfilment.
Meaning often involves giving of yourself for others, with no immediate return in happiness. The process can even generate discomfort, because it asks you to invest emotional energy and effort in something that does not directly benefit you.
How to cultivate meaning in your life
To enrich your life with authentic meaning, actively seek out opportunities to take part in other people's stories. Adopt a "supporting actor energy" rather than that of the leading character. This humble but powerful stance transforms your impact on the world.
Accept, too, that the pursuit of meaning does not necessarily generate immediate happiness. That acceptance frees you from the expectation of instant gratification and makes it possible to invest in relationships and causes that transcend your personal interest.
The virtuous circle of shared meaning
The search for meaning creates a magnificent circle of generosity and gratitude. When your life has meaning, someone else has offered you the chance to take part in their story. Realising this inspires deep gratitude towards those who placed such trust in you.
Conversely, allowing others to take part in your life gives them the chance to generate meaning of their own. This interdependence reveals the profound beauty of human connection and its central role in our collective flourishing.
The true legacy of your passage through the world
Your personal achievements, however remarkable, pale beside your effect on other people. When you move through the world with your brilliance — in the literal sense of light — your interaction with others illuminates them and helps them shine more brightly.
This is how the world gradually lights up. When you are gone, all your achievements will become insignificant. All that will remain is your participation in other people's stories, what you passed on to them, how it echoes down through time. This perspective radically transforms your approach to existence and reveals the true measure of a life well lived.
