Should you tell him how you feel from the very first dates? Can you really say everything to him? How do you encourage him without overdoing it? These questions come up naturally at the start of any relationship. To get the first steps as a couple right, five instincts matter: taking care of your appearance without reinventing yourself, staying authentic, nurturing your self-esteem, knowing how to listen and adopting clear communication. Here are our tips for navigating this crucial phase with peace of mind.
Take care of your appearance naturally for the first steps
The first sparks really do arise from the physical impression you make. So be sure to look after your appearance during those early meetings. That said, keep it subtle and don't overdo it. Simply be the best version of yourself and stay authentic.
Avoid rushing out to the shops or changing your hairstyle at the last minute. Likewise, don't try out new beauty products. Instead, choose your "safe" outfit, the one that suits you and in which you feel confident. Go for the ensemble that plays up your assets.
Don't forget to set off your look with pretty accessories that flatter you. A small, discreet piece of jewellery or a colourful scarf can make all the difference.
As for make-up, aim to look polished without excess. Be impeccably groomed, keep your hands manicured, wear elegant make-up and sport a lovely hairstyle. Above all, don't forget the perfume that suits you so well.
Cultivate authenticity in your first steps together
Authenticity remains your greatest asset. Don't try to impress him by pretending to share his interests when you don't. Listen to him talk about what he's passionate about, but don't pretend to be fascinated if you're not.
From the outset, put sincerity first. Differing tastes will let you enrich each other. It's also an excellent way to get to know each other and spend more time together.
Ask him about the things he loves, and he'll be glad to introduce you to them. Conversely, don't hesitate to share the subjects you're passionate about. It's a great way to tell whether he's genuinely interested in you.
Nurture self-esteem in your budding relationship
Many women carry plenty of insecurities that they alone tend to notice. Don't put them front and centre, and avoid talking about what you don't like about yourself. Above all, don't put yourself down.
Remember that this fine specimen who has caught your eye is far from perfect. What's more, some flaws are actually rather endearing.
"Keep smiling. Every man falls for a woman who smiles."
Don't tie yourself in knots and, better still, don't tie him in knots. In any case, not at this stage!
Some men won't feel at ease if you show them your lack of confidence. Avoid pouring out everything on your mind. It's still too soon. Don't make him your lifeline, or he'll take flight. After all, you're looking for a partner, not a therapist.
Master the art of listening in your first steps
To start off on the right foot, it's essential to get to know each other. Ask him simple questions, pick up on the subjects he brings up and put him at ease so he'll tell you about his life.
Take a genuine interest in the things he shares with you. If you tend to be talkative, especially when you get stressed, try not to monopolise the conversation. Also avoid telling him too much all at once.
If, on the contrary, you're reserved, make an effort. Otherwise, he may not realise that you're interested in him.
Adopt clear communication for your first steps
Sometimes women try to protect themselves too much to avoid being let down. If that's the case, it may mean you're not yet ready to start a new story.
So avoid complicating things by setting off on misunderstandings. If you want to embark on a relationship, do so sincerely. If you're unsure of yourself, simply don't.
If he drops hints, don't try to play the unattainable woman. Return his calls and his messages. If you keep him on the back burner for too long, he'll simply take it that you're not interested.
Be attentive to his glances and his gestures. When he asks you out and you feel like seeing him, say yes without toying with him or his expectations.
