Routine settles in on the sly, and it is one of the most common causes of the crises a couple goes through. The flame needs relighting again and again, and the one you love needs surprising with small attentions whose power runs deeper than it looks. Here are 8 ideas to break the routine.
1. A trip, or an unplanned weekend away
Changing the scenery is sometimes what it takes to break the daily grind. A short trip, or even a weekend for the two of you, can bring you back to each other and put some distance between you and the tensions and stress that life imposes.
2. Don't try to plan everything
Wanting to plan everything means wanting to control everything. It can keep you from being caught off guard, but too much organisation breeds routine and weariness: be more spontaneous, and leave your relationship some room to breathe.
3. Do things together
To keep the closeness alive, look for things you can do together. Pick a pastime you both love, and turn that shared moment into something you look forward to.
4. Don't neglect yourself
Take care of yourself: the hairdresser, shopping, time to be pampered. Feeling better in your own skin, relaxed and calm, you shine more — and that lands straight in your relationship.
5. Talk to each other
Set aside a moment every day, over dinner for instance, when each of you talks about the day, what you are hoping for, what you need. Talking regularly feeds the closeness and keeps you from ending up living like strangers.
6. Make small gestures
A little gift, an impromptu dinner, a loving text, a kiss: simple marks of tenderness that give pleasure and show how deeply you love him.
7. Leave a little space
Being a couple does not mean being together 24 hours a day. Each of you needs your own room to live, your private world kept intact: giving each other freedom is essential, and coming back together will only be more intense for it, since missing someone wakes desire.
8. Be creative in bed
Stay tuned to each other's desires and fantasies. Try new positions, vary how often you make love, keep an open and spontaneous mind.
