New resolutions for a better balance
Emotional hygiene means giving our emotional health the same importance as our physical health: acknowledging emotional pain, fighting loneliness, healing psychological wounds and strengthening self-esteem are its pillars. As the psychologist Guy Winch puts it: "If our dental hygiene were as poor as our emotional hygiene, we would all have gums without teeth."
Now more than ever, we need to approach this period armed with good resolutions. We must constantly work to improve our daily lives, focusing on what we can genuinely do — and our overall well-being rests on both the physical and the mental dimension.
We all recognise the harm done by smoking or an unbalanced diet. Yet we underestimate the warnings that loneliness, rejection, guilt and a sense of failure send us. Studies show that social isolation shortens life expectancy. Despite this, we go on ignoring the importance of good emotional hygiene.
"If our dental hygiene were as poor as our emotional hygiene, we would all have gums without teeth." Guy Winch, psychologist
To lead a fulfilled and fulfilling life, it would be wise to give equal importance to our emotional health and our physical health. Here are a few tips for achieving that.
Acknowledge emotional pain
Never underestimate emotional pain. Take it into account. Do not dismiss it. Psychological pain resembles physical pain. When a part of the body hurts, we want to put an end to that suffering. We turn to a specialist or we work out a remedy. But we do not ignore it.
We recognise that a hurt exists and we try to relieve it. A similar approach should be followed when we encounter emotional pain. If it lasts several days, do not ignore it.
Fighting loneliness to protect your emotional hygiene
If you feel lonely, do not let it swallow you up. Try to take the steps needed to face it. Chronic loneliness can become devastating for emotional health and has direct repercussions on physical health.
According to some studies, loneliness increases the likelihood of an early death by 14%. So as soon as loneliness becomes pressing, do not hesitate to turn to family or reconnect with friends. Make a list of the people you were once close to and get in touch with them.
Talk with them on the phone or plan to meet over a meal or a coffee. This first step may feel frightening for anyone in that situation, but breaking the cycle of emotional isolation matters more.
Healing psychological wounds
Psychological wounds tend to create vicious circles that worsen over time. Disappointment, for example, can lead to feelings of helplessness. These in turn feed the fear of failing again, of losing face. This mindset conditions the person and locks them into a dynamic of failure.
To put an end to it, you need to decide to take matters into your own hands. To build that sense of control, favour thorough preparation, planning and follow-through over instinct or mere intuition.
Strengthening self-esteem in your emotional-hygiene routine
Self-esteem is comparable to the emotional immune system. It can increase your endurance and protects you against stress and anxiety. Good emotional hygiene involves keeping an eye on your self-esteem.
To nurture it, you have to know how to be kind to yourself, to show compassion, generosity and forgiveness. Acknowledge your humanity — flaws, weaknesses and all. And while questioning ourselves is necessary to any growth, don't give in to the negative talk we direct at ourselves.
Have you noticed how cruel we can be to ourselves? The words we address to ourselves are so belittling. We would rarely dare aim them at others. If you have reproaches to make to yourself, make them, but imagine yourself talking to someone dear to you who is in pain.
After rejection: maintaining healthy emotional hygiene
We have this unfortunate habit of beating ourselves up all the more when our self-esteem is already fragile. We list all our faults, all our shortcomings, and in the pain of rejection we justify the act that wounds us. We prove the people who push us away right.
If we do not matter to them, then somehow we must deserve it. Is this how we would speak to one of our loved ones, were they ever in a similar situation? No. So make sure your inner voice addresses you with the same words of support and compassion that your voice would offer a loved one.
Fighting negative thoughts
When we go through an unpleasant event, we dwell on it. We think about it endlessly and replay the scene over and over in our imagination. This attitude prevents us from taking the distance we need to free ourselves from the negative emotions that accompanied the incident.
One of the best ways to break this cycle of rumination is to focus on a task that demands our full concentration. This can range from a simple crossword puzzle to a serious work-related activity. Everyone can find the pursuit that suits them best to occupy their thoughts.
Learn about emotional hygiene
You know what to do to treat a cold or a small cut, the right gestures to make and the actions to take. In the same way, you need to know how to handle situations such as rejection, failure, loneliness and other common emotional wounds.
By taking the importance of psychological health into account and adopting the good habits of healthy emotional hygiene, we will be able not only to cope with psychological wounds, but also to considerably improve our quality of life.
